How long have I been sick for?! like 2-3 weeks?! Its seriously cutting back my energy level and activities. I can't even concentrate on work anymore.
It's partially due to my own stupidity, thinking I'm superman when I'm not. I shouldn't be getting eggy or running around in the rain.
It suddenly hit me a couple days ago. It being something like UNCERTAINTY! Because I am uncertain, I cannot give it a name. So it shall be IT! But I am uncertain about my future. Does it ever dawn upon you that you don't really know how to do anything? I feel so weak and I don't want to do any of my work. I also committed to not being eggy on weekdays anymore, so I'm very sad.
I went to a career fair today and I saw all these electrical engineering companies there. It really depressed me because I'm just not interested in this Microelectromechanical systems (MEMS) stuff. Neither am I very interested in heat transfer or other tedious subjects. I saw a table that was run by the "Contra Costa County Sanitation District" and they had positions for summer interns and Co-ops. If I don't get into a German research exchange *fingers crossed*, I will do that.
Is it sad that I would [rather] be a sanitation engineer doing the work of yesterday than a MEMS engineering working on the frontier sciences? I want to help the world by making it a better place, and I think the best place to start is in the dumps. But it's such a dirty subject... What do you think? Would you be happy to have a friend that's... a SELF-PROCLAIMED SEWAGE MAN?!
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3 comments:
I think you meant to make this a serious sounding blog but I laughed at various parts
aw! i laughed too. HAHA.
i love how when i read it i can hear you saying it in my head very enthusiastically
lol alvin. i feel the exaaact same fucking way: the "meh...weak/apathy not wanting to work" it-feeling. if you do sanitation you can work at HYPERION BAAAY sewage treatment plant! all the shit in la goes there! hurray. but yeah...i don't think that working on sanitation is "old engineering" it's something we'll always have to deal with, so if we can get a better system going, we're actually working on the future. you work on cleaning up the shit, i'll work on cleaning up the water. hahaha
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